


Call the Clotpoll Back!

by CandiceWright



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Pendragon Returns (Merlin), Canon Compliant, Don't wory, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, I Don't Even Know, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), M/M, Merlin is a Little Shit (Merlin), Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Shakespearean Language, Taverns, there's a translation to regular english
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22198753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandiceWright/pseuds/CandiceWright
Summary: “I count myself in nothing else so happy as in a soul remembering my good Friends”― William ShakespeareOr the one in which Merlin and William Shakespeare meet and they teach each other something.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), William Shakespeare & Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 78
Collections: Finish that Fic Merlin!





	1. Act I, Scene I: London, Tavern

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is absolute madness. I can't explain how I came to write it or why it ended up like this. 
> 
> It just happened.
> 
> Enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance meeting between a bard and an interesting man.

_ A small tavern in the city of London in the early 1600s. WILLIAM is sitting in one of the tables. Enter MERLIN, who approaches him and sits at the table. _

MERLIN

Art thee a poet or a malt-worm?

WILLIAM

A poet, though I suppose you couldst sayeth I am both. How knoweth you?

MERLIN

Well, every time I come hither I see thee writing a story with no future.

WILLIAM

How would thee know it has no future?

MERLIN

Because, had it future, you would hast finished it already.

WILLIAM

What a curious young sir art thee.

MERLIN

Not so young, but at each moment curious.

WILLIAM

What is thy name?

MERLIN

I've many a name, my good sir. Which is that thou require?

WILLIAM

Whichever one you'd most readily respond to.

MERLIN

Ah, Merlin then. Pleased to be made your acquaintance.

WILLIAM

William. Bid me, Merlin, what profession would a man like thee hast? A merchant, peradventure?

MERLIN

Nay, that would require being in society and Lord knows I am more a man of private affairs. Nay, I am–or rather was–a servant.

WILLIAM

A servant! Dear Lord! What nobleman would withstand thine imprudence and lack of restraint?

MERLIN

The noblest of them all, I fear. A mighty king, a fool with a heart of gold.

WILLIAM

And thee, pray tell, dare insult thine master so?

MERLIN

I'd say it to his face were he still alive. Many times I called him a clotpole or a dollophead. And he didn't take offence, O nay. He insulted me right back! We were friends, he and I. There's no other lost one I miss so much as he.

WILLIAM

Smile, my gentle sir. Shed not thine tears for the buried, for it would only serve to grow flowers upon their tombs. And all know that flowers though fair and gentle in appearance hast no purpose but to cause melancholy in the hearts of men.

MERLIN

I fear thou art right. Ay, a poet indeed.

WILLIAM

And nay less of a poet art thee. 'Clotpole', you said! To a king, no less!

MERLIN

That I told him.

WILLIAM

For that let me buy thee a drink and thou can tell me more about thine mighty king and those daring insults thee bestowed upon his honour.

MERLIN

Never his honour. His temper maybe.

WILLIAM

Well then, to our ill-tempered noble king!

MERLIN

To that, I shall drink, my friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The translation for those who may need it is in the last chapter.


	2. Act 2, Scene I: London, Merlin's house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While reading a book, Arthur stumbles upon a very familiar word.

Arthur laid splayed on the couch, amazingly, Merlin thought, reading a book. A lot of change had happened ever since he'd risen from the lake. The status of their relationship was the big one, of course. Merlin could hardly believe it when Arthur had told him he loved him and then proceeded to kiss him quite spectacularly. But other smaller things had changed too. Case in point being when Arthur had decided that he'd had enough of Merlin's teasing about his lack of a reading habit and he'd started taking some volumes from Merlin extensive personal library. He started off by going through the one that talked about him, the ones that had spread the legend of King Arthur. But after reading them and loudly complaining to Merlin about the inaccuracies– _ I mean, Morgana and I? Really, Merlin? They should know I was better than that– _ he had gone to other works that piqued his curiosity. The book he was reading at the moment was 'King Lear' by Shakespeare which, though Arthur would never admit it, he had picked simply because it had the word 'king' in the title.

He smiled fondly at the image of his mighty king curled up under the blankets and then went back to cleaning their–because it was  _ theirs  _ now–room.

That was until Arthur called his name.

“Merlin?”

“Yes, Arthur?” he said, picking up a discarded t-shirt from the floor and folding it up.

“Come here,” Arthur all but ordered.

Merlin begrudgingly stopped what he was doing and walked into the living room.

“I'm not your servant anymore, you know that, right?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. Just get here for a bloody second, will you?”

“Ugh, " Merlin complained, but he sat next to Arthur on the couch anyway.

“Can you explain this?”

Merlin looked at where Arthur was pointing on the page. Immediately, he found those words very familiar.

**_Lear: What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back._ **

A smirk made its way into Merlin's face at the memory and he turned to Arthur, who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, expectant.

“Well?”

Merlin's grin widened.

“I told you it was a real word.”


	3. Act I, Scene I: Translation

MERLIN

Are you a poet or a drunk?

WILLIAM

A poet, though I suppose you could say I'm both. How did you know?

MERLIN

Well, every time I come here I see you writing a story with no future.

WILLIAM

How would you know it has no future?

MERLIN

Because, if it had a future, you would have finished it already.

WILLIAM

What a curious young man you are.

MERLIN

Not so young, but always curious.

WILLIAM

What is your name?

MERLIN

I have many names, my good sir. Which is the one that you require?

WILLIAM

Whichever one you'd most readily respond to.

MERLIN

Ah, Merlin then. Pleased to be made your acquaintance.

WILLIAM

William. Tell me, Merlin, what profession would a man like you have? A merchant, perhaps?

MERLIN

No, that would require being in society and Lord knows I am more a man of private affairs. No, I am–or rather was–a servant.

WILLIAM

A servant! Dear Lord! What nobleman would withstand your imprudence and lack of restraint?

MERLIN

The noblest of them all, I fear. A mighty king, a fool with a heart of gold.

WILLIAM

And you, pray tell, dare insult your master so?

MERLIN

I'd say it to his face were he still alive. Many times I called him a clotpole or a dollophead. And he didn't take offence, oh no. He insulted me right back! We were friends, he and I. There's no other lost one I miss so much as him.

WILLIAM

Smile, my gentle sir. Don't shed your tears for the buried, for it would only serve to grow flowers upon their tombs. And all know that flowers though fair and gentle in appearance have no purpose but to cause melancholy in the hearts of men.

MERLIN

I fear you are right. Yes, a poet indeed.

WILLIAM

And you're no less of a poet. 'Clotpole', you said! To a king, no less!

MERLIN

That I told him.

WILLIAM

For that let me buy you a drink and you can tell me more about your mighty king and those daring insults you bestowed upon his honour.

MERLIN

Never his honour. His temper maybe.

WILLIAM

Well then, to our ill-tempered noble king!

MERLIN

To that, I shall drink, my friend.

**Author's Note:**

> If you truly want to know how I came up with this fic, this is the story.
> 
> I was looking up Shakespearean insults on the internet for no good reason when I came upon the word 'clotpole'. Naturally, being the Merlin fangirl that I am, my brain started looking for a connection between the show and Shakespeare. So the question occurred to me: what if Merlin had met Shakespeare while he was waiting for Arthur and that's how he heard that word? Then I started researching where the word appears in his works and I was very surprised to find that it was first used in King Lear. 'Why?' you may ask. Well, the story of King Lear is based on King Leir of Britain, whose tale is told in the book 'History of the Kings of Britain' by Geoffrey of Monmouth. The same book that tells the story of King Arthur. Coincidence? Probably. But I couldn't resist exploring the idea. 
> 
> So here we are.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this craziness and thank you for dealing with me.


End file.
